Every week day I pray before I go to work and on Monday, June 17, 2013 I was tired of not remembering what I read, tired of being behind the eight ball my whole life, and tired of just being good enough. My prayer that day included the line “Lord increase the usage of my mind by 1%” and I’ve added that line to my prayer list ever since.
On Tuesday, June 18, 2013 I had lunch with a good friend that I hadn’t seen in almost 4 to 5 years. We were having an enjoyable lunch, catching up on things when he stopped and gave a confession.
“Troy, I’ve been diagnosed with ADD” he said. “Been on Ritalin for a year and a half and it’s changed my life. I’ve never been more productive.”
It was at this moment that I wondered why he was telling me this. He continued, “I’ve known you for a long time and believe you have the same symptoms as me. You need to go get checked out and see if it can help you too.”
Um…wow…for those that know me well, you know I’m an anti-med guy. Don’t really believe Christians should rely on that sort of stuff, but this time instead of defending myself I kept my mouth shut. I listened.
My friend explained that on the medication he retained everything he read. Dang how I wish I could do that! Ever since I was a kid listening to my dad preach I would ‘check out’ and go to my happy place. This ‘checking out’ exercise spilled into school and I was a consistently a C / D student. In High School, I cheated from time to time and my girlfriend would do my homework for me, she even had my handwriting down perfectly. When I took the SAT I colored the bubbles to create a picture, my mom wouldn’t tell me my score since it was so low.
In college is where everything hit the fan. My first semester’s GPA was a 1.9 and by the time I put some effort into it it was too late. By my third year my financial aid was denied because I couldn’t keep a C average. I now have 60 some credits and a school debt of over $35,000.
Over the years I’ve masked my ADD very well, called it a learning disorder and relied heavily on writing everything down and using calenders to accommodate my lack of focus and remembering. A few years ago I was suspicious of having ADD so I tried to do some research on the internet. There were pages and pages of ads or anti ADD medication blogs. I got tired of trying to find a solution so I stopped looking.
Fast forward to current times and my doctor had me visit a professional and he diagnosed me with ADD. Today I received a prescription for 20MG of Ritalin which I will start tomorrow. The mental health professional, who is a bible believing Christian I might add, thinks my buddy is right: This will radically improve my life.
Although I have little to no expectations, I must admit I’m a little nervous and excited to see what the results may be. If the medication is successful I’ll be re enrolling in school for the winter quarter.
As always thanks for joining me in this journey of life. God has got some big plans and this year has been a great ‘finding of myself.’ Can’t wait to see what else is coming.